I’ve never related to the feeling of running on empty more strongly than during the fall of my sophomore year at NYU in 2014 when I suddenly developed dysphagia (i.e. difficulty swallowing) which subsequently impacted my health for years. Suddenly, I had significant difficulty eating normally and began to limit where and what I ate based on my new anxiety about the previously automatic action of eating. Additionally, this condition essentially imposed a daily constraint on how much I could eat because my esophagus progressively fatigued over the course of each day. As a result, I largely stopped running during this time because I was already underfueling and wanted to avoid further injury or complications.

I underwent numerous tests (upper endoscopy, modified barium esophagram, esophageal manometry) during the following summer but the tests were inconclusive which prevented me from receiving an actual diagnosis. Eventually, my symptoms gradually improved which allowed me to start running again and provided a footing to regain my sense of control over my health. Over time, I built my mileage to 100+ miles per month, which I had actually never achieved prior to this experience, and have maintained that volume every month since December 2019.

Unfortunately, my symptoms suddenly worsened at the end of January 2026 to their worst since those early days so I’ve since repeated those previous tests in addition to a few others (standard barium esophagram, upper endoscopy with EndoFLIP and MiVu, 24 hour pH impedance study). Additionally, in August 2026, my surgeon performed a dilation of the cricopharyngeus muscle because it was excessively tight so hopefully these further tests will inform a treatment plan going forward.

The most iconic running scene in movie history is arguably the cross-country montage from Forrest Gump and the most prominent song in the soundtrack during that sequence is “Running On Empty” by Jackson Browne. As a result, I’ve often thought about the interesting interplay between the respective meanings of the scene and the song. In “Running on Empty,” Browne reflects on the passage of time (“in ‘65 I was 17… in ‘69 I was 21…”) and searches for meaning (“you know I don’t even know what I’m hoping to find, running into the sun but I’m running behind”) in the peripatetic life of a touring artist (“looking out at the road rushing under my wheels, I don’t know how to tell you all just how crazy this life feels.”) Similar to Forrest Gump’s journey, Browne’s album Running on Empty (from which this song is the title track) is a chronicle of the search for meaning out on the road with every song recorded on tour either in live concerts, hotel rooms, tour buses, or backstage.

I’ve run over halfway around the world and I sometimes wonder how my own experience of “running on empty” and my own journey on the road relates to these others. However, I also think it’s interesting to consider the possibility that the protagonist’s inner journey might actually not be the most important thing after all. People followed both Forrest Gump and Jackson Browne as they both traveled the country because, as Browne says, “everyone I know, everywhere I go, people need some reason to believe” and those people sought inspiration and connection by accompanying each of them on their respective journeys. As a result, perhaps the most important thing is actually how each of our individual journeys intertwine with one another and thereby create true meaning through connection. I’ll continue to work toward finding answers so I can worry less about filling my tank above empty and focus more on finding those experiences and connections that are waiting for me as I continue running into the sun.